We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
