then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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