I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
