plz talk dirty to me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
