Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
