how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
