No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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