Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize