i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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