I just cut my nipple shaving
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
