you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
