i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
