32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
