we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
