The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
