nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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