It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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