Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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