i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
