6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
