i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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