he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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