Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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