to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
