i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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