I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
