i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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