he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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