Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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