My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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