a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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