ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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