just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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