Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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