Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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