Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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