just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
