why didn't you poke me back
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
