i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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