Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
