I wish I only lived at night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
