when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
