he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
