After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
