dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
