Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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