Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize