i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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