Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
