Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
