so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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