Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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