you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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