Already got asked if we're dating
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
