do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
