HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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