Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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