let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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