John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
