i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
