rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize