how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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