We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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