so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
