That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
