Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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