Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
