Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I smell like Dick and happiness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
