I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
