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And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i've created a new STD.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
