I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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