do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
